Zombie Apocalypse Wedding Vows

So recently we’ve been watching The Walking Dead which is basically a zombie apocalypse TV series, but unlike the zombies in Left 4 Dead 1 & 2 (which Jet bought for me for Halloween!! woot but i can’t play cause I don’t have a decent comp set up yet.. long story, don’t ask), the zombies in this series then to be rather slow-moving ones. Having watched several zombie flicks together.. including personal favourites like 28 days later and 28 weeks late and of course ZOMBIELAND!!! (hur hur hur), we’re also constantly yelling at the characters in this TV series who don’t seem to know the general rules of surviving a zombie apocalypse, such as wasting bullets, aiming for heads, letting the bitten ‘live’ etc.  At moments like these, Jet and I always look at each other and say don’t worry, I promise to kill you if you get bitten by a zombie.  Yes I think this is as close as it gets for the au-chews as far as romantic gestures go. The more we watched, the more silly mistakes these characters made, the longer our list of promises got till it started to sound almost like wedding vows.  So here it is, ladies and gents wedding vows if you got married in a zombie apocalypse!

With this ring I thee wed,

To have and to hold

To never waste ammo

To always stick by your side and never split up,

To always cover each other, in all zombie attacks

I promise to aim for the heads, never other body parts

To always kill the infected, no matter who they are

And most of all, I promise to chop off your head swiftly if you get bitten by one of them.

We’ve also decided that melee weapons were the best choice of weapons compared to guns if you get swarmed by zombies, but we also know that Jet can’t seem to use them (we know this from L4D2), our defence positions would be me in front and him behind in the case of a zombie swarm attack.  We also decided that one of the best weapons was still the cross-bow, keeps a good distance, and reusable arrows! Unfortunately Jet does not think we need to buy one for our future place. BOO. I kept telling him what  if we get attacked by zombies!  Then i started looking around our current surroundings, and realised we were really poorly equipped to survive a zombie attack.  Unlike the youths at downtown east, we don’t have parangs and obviously we don’t have any guns.  And Jet’s already put his foot down on a cross-bow, so the only thing we will have is make shift molotov cocktails from the many bottles of alcohol we have.   What would you use to survive a zombie apocalypse?

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