What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

silly as it sounds, it’s adopting Mao and having him come out of his shell.

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draw me like one of your french girls

If you’ve read my earlier posts (here and here) on what he was like when we first got him, you’ll understand how incredibly hard it was for us and him for the first couple of months. We barely got any sleep, melvin lost a tooth and no one was happy. And then you have him now, 2.5 yrs later, less fearful (less but he’s still a fraidy cat) and asking for attention, demanding for food, cuddling with me or jet and even playing with melvin when it suits him (he is, at the end of a day, a cat).

 

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Is that fud?

This year, he’s started to hang out with me more and just chill with me in the mornings while I do work in the living room and even occasionally giving me a head bump to ask for attention.

fud fud fud?

FUD?

And just two nights ago, I had some friends come over and he didn’t immediately run off which is such a big milestone for us. he hissed but he stayed where he was. And even after he walked off (not ran), he came back to observe us. It’s been almost 3 years since we’ve adopted him and I am so proud of how far he’s come.

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#oldmanmao

 

This is part of my on-going mini project to answer all 36 questions that would apparently accelerate intimacy between two strangers by asking a specific series of personal questions. I’m just doing this as a writing exercise and answering one each Sunday. 


we all go through the same thing differently

that’s what someone wise beyond her years told me this morning.

I’m going to try to remember that and try hard not to pass judgement so quickly on others. TRY anyway. Or at least maybe keep my mouth shut when I have nothing good to say. It’s well known that I don’t suffer fools. Jet always says I have zero EQ. That’s very true. If I think you’re an idiot, you’ll prob see it on my face without me having to say anything. There’s really only a small circle of important people that get a somewhat judgement free card with me. Everyone else is held to my standard. Failing which you get judged, rated and ranked by my standards.

See it’s not that I don’t have empathy. It’s that my way of showing empathy is putting myself in their shoes, only maybe cause I deal with things completely differently, I can’t understand what they are going through. I know I don’t deal with emotions well, in fact I’m super good at compartmentalising things and emotions.  My way of dealing with things is just to solve it or not deal with it. It’s probably some kind of defence mechanism and the things I don’t want to deal with get buried deep in the reccesses of my brain and never gets dealt with. Just buried and forgotten.

So because I don’t deal, I don’t get what some people go through and it’s as if I see the world in black and white when it really is shades of grey. Oh well. I will try to remember this. I think it’s good advice.

I think life is about to throw me some curve balls and this is a reminder to myself to be kinder to the world out there. I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that when it doubt, assume good intentions. I think that’s good advice too.

*takes a breath and that plunge*


Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Yes. Getting a tattoo. I’ve always liked the idea of getting one. [before this, it would have been getting a cat and then two cats! achievement unlocked!]

Why haven’t I done it?

Finding a pattern / phrase you like that will be on your body permanently is not something I want to get on impulse. So I’ve been taking my time to mull over this. Over the last two years I’ve whittled it down to two designs and I think I’ve finally decided what and where. When? well. stay tuned!

This is part of my on-going mini project to answer all 36 questions that would apparently accelerate intimacy between two strangers by asking a specific series of personal questions. I’m just doing this as a writing exercise and answering one each Sunday. 


If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

HMMM

[also OH in the Au-Chew household : 4D numbers!! / will liverpool ever win the premiership (NEVER!)]

aside from work which has been keeping me busy, this question has had me stumped for weeks.

I have no idea man. I think i might want to know when my nearest and dearest will be leaving me so I can be prepared but other than that, I don’t think there’s anything I’d need to know about myself or my life that I don’t already know or want to know. I was literally just telling a friend today, I don’t like lying and that includes lying to myself. as in i physically get squirmish over a lie so at best, I’ll lie by omission but if asked point blank about something, it’s unlikely I’d lie about it. So in this way, I don’t think I consciously hide things from myself.

I suppose knowing what stocks / shares / lottery numbers to buy etc wouldn’t be a bad idea. Who would say no to more free money?

would you want to know anything?

This is part of my on-going mini project to answer all 36 questions that would apparently accelerate intimacy between two strangers by asking a specific series of personal questions. I’m just doing this as a writing exercise and answering one each Sunday. 

 


If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

This is easy. I would like the ability to  be clean at a blink of an eye.

Most people who know me know that I don’t like to shower. Before you give me that look of horror, let me be very clear: I like being clean I just don’t like the process of getting clean. For the record, that doesn’t mean I don’t do it. Let me say this again. I STILL SHOWER OK? I just feel one can do other things instead of shower. like write. or surf web, or read a book.

Now that I think about it, I think the main reason I don’t like showers is because I can’t do anything else while I’m showering. WOW. that’s quite a major breakthrough actually. hur hur hur. All this while, some people [you know who you are] kept saying I was just being gross (ONE JUST CALLED ME UNSANITARY!). BUT SEE! it’s not true! I am quite pleased with this revelation btw. Cause stupid people keep calling me gross and stinky.

So anyway, yes I would basically like to be clean without any effort. Blink my eyes and smell like roses? hell yeah.

This is part of my on-going mini project to answer all 36 questions that would apparently accelerate intimacy between two strangers by asking a specific series of personal questions. I’m just doing this as a writing exercise and answer one each Sunday. except this time. it’s on a Monday because reasons. 


Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

er. right. so my life in 4 mins. HMM.

I had a care free childhood. brought up by a tiger mom. before tiger mom’s were a thing, there was my mother. she is literally a tiger mom cause she is born in the year of the tiger. bahahaha.

I grew up in the western part of Singapore. Moving from holland v / ghim moh area to margret drive and finally settling into sunset way where my mom still lives now. I do not remember much of life before sunset way.

People used to think I was a boy. not just a boy, a Japanese boy. People would come up and ask if she was helping a Japanese family look after their son. For this, I thank my mom for my constant ricebowl haircut. I also did not inherit either of my parent’s double eyelids. They used to tell me they picked me up from the dustbin cause I looked nothing like them growing up.

I was what they call a waterbaby. I love to swim from the moment my uncle got me started when I was 3. I spent a lot of time at the pool and had all sorts of weird tan lines from wearing googles on my face. IIt’s been a while since i’ve swam and I miss it.

I loved school and studying. and was kinda a nerd. I am still closest to my friends I made from my sec school. Uni was when i felt that whole coming of age thing. I felt more comfortable in my skin and finally felt less awkward amongst my peers. I was still a nerd and would spend a lot of time in the library reading academic journals. for fun. during the holidays. (I did say I was a nerd).

I have worked at the same place for the past 11 yrs and counting. I sometimes still can’t believe i’ve been here this long. hahaha

I met Jet while clubbing. Ha! no surprises there. We went to our first zouk out togehter back in 2006 and never looked back. We even took our wedding photos at zouk because that place meant so much to us.

I still have much love for the sea and water. even though i don’t swim much now, I’ve learnt to dive and we’ve made sure we’ve gone for a dive trip every year since. I like the quiet of the sea and being completely enveloped in the calmness of the ocean. I used to sail a lot on my friend’s boat and I hope to pick it up again in the next year or so. I miss our long 3 week sails up to tioman and back. I like falling asleep under the canopy of stars, only to wake up in the morning and be able to just dive into the water for a short swim, come up for breakfast and swim again. rinse and repeat without a care in the world. the only thing we would think about was where to go and what to eat / cook for the next meal.

I love to cook. I wish had more time to do it. Not so much the cleaning up. hahaha. I like to think I’m a decent cook. So far in the past 5 yrs of cooking, i’ve only had one serious fail so not bad lah. I’ve recently gone on to try more Asian dishes like steam fish, chicken, curry, stews. not bad even if i do say so myself. I even broke through my mental barrier of cooking lamb last Christmas which was something that I always felt was really hard to to cook. Apparently it’s not. well

I have two cats. they are the love of my life. they also could not be more different from one another. they are also not friends. which annoys me. I’m secretely jealous of all the cat owners whose cats cuddle and groom each other. mine won’t even sit next to each other. but at least they arent killing each other so I’ll take it.

I love dancing as in serious dance classes type of dance. Lke Jazz and Contemp dance. I like moving to music and being able to leave everything going on in life at the door of the studio. The focus that i need for the class just makes me forget everything else for that 90 mins.

I have recently developed an expensive hobby of whisky appreciation. I try not to think about how much I have spent on this hobby in the last 2 yrs. hahaha.

i realise upon writing this piece that a lot of my hobbies involve me escaping life. HMM. well. ok anyway I think this is the 4 mins or more already so. THE END!

This is part of my on-going mini project to answer all 36 questions that would apparently accelerate intimacy between two strangers by asking a specific series of personal questions. I’m just doing this as a writing exercise and answer one each Sunday.


If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Hmm. this is a hard one. I’m of the belief that whatever happens in your past affects who you are, how you deal with it and what you take from it. I think a lot of my growing up phase has shaped who I am today and I’m grateful for that.

I didn’t exactly have the easiest of childhoods – growing up in a single parent household is never easy on parent or on child  – but my mom made it work for us. I think it helped that I have an extremely involved extended family who help out whenever they can in whatever way they can. I don’t look back with like regret / wishing somethings were different so i’m really not sure what I would change about it.

Maybe, and this is a big maybe, if I grew up in a more outwardly loving environment. My family is quite typically stoic asian. we don’t do this hug thing much or say i love yous etc. In fact we show our love in rather odd ways, now that I think of it. Think more like nagging the living day lights out of you or asking how your grades are (and if they weren’t up to the family standard, offer you help) or exclaimations of weight gain (the horror!) or loss (eat more eat more!) but all with the good intentions of really checking everything is ok with you.

I’m still a rather “hard” person, especially towards people whom I’ve just met. Jet and the maos have soften me up quite a bit so maybe just that but it still takes me a long time to open up to people or show some form of affection towards them. So maybe. Hmm.

I’m not sure if this answered the question oh well. HAHAHA.

This is part of my on-going mini project to answer all 36 questions that would apparently accelerate intimacy between two strangers by asking a specific series of personal questions. I’m just doing this as a writing exercise and answer one each Sunday.


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